stormy weather

rainy days always make me feel as gloomy as the sky. whenever i look at gloomy skies all i can think about is Paris.

when i was a little girl i always dreamt of going to Paris. i wanted to drink the green stuff that was in the bottle and be one of toulouse lautrecs models. what i didn't know was that the green stuff in the bottle was absinthe and toulouse lautrec's models were mostly prostitutes. i guess back then i did a lot of dreaming behind couches along with drawing and coloring. i was the creative little one who ruined textbooks and novels by adding illustrations to them. i didn't think much of it. all i know is that i really liked doing it. it was just as good as watching knight rider and much more interesting than sticking rocks in my nose.

in the 3rd grade i realized that art was something i loved and my favorite subject became art. fuck kick-ball and physical education. apparently i was good at this so called art thing. i didn't know. teachers would tell me. i won many of those dumb mommy and me contests. (i think my mom still has the winning pieces)

my dreams about Paris started with the art masters program at school. a lady wearing a beret would come and teach us about a bunch of artists and then we would make our own copy cat pieces. all this fascinated me and i learned that a lot of these artists hung out in Paris. so i made a plan. if they lived in Paris then that's where i would go. too bad back then no one told me that most of these guys were already dead or maybe i just didn't pay attention. i just wanted badly to go a brothel with toulouse lautrec. of course i didn't know it was a brothel. it was the place where they pour you the green stuff to drink right? i guess pictured myself living there as an artist. i just wanted to be like van gogh, henri matisse, renoir and picasso and everyone else and experience the bohemian lifestyle. as the years passed i kept this on my list of things to do before i die. i have accomplished my childhood dream twice already and i am very grateful. the little M inside of me is happy but the grown up little M just misses it all the time.

oh, how i miss walking along la seine. grabbing coffee at a little cafe in the morning. the smell of chocolate croissants as we walked down st. michel. cute old couples holding hands. walking down the rues of montmarte. meeting strangers. drinking too much. falling in love again with great art. i even miss walking up all those stairs to the apartment on rue du pont di lodi.

Paris i miss you and i hope to see you soon.

today's gloomy playlist for gloomy weather

DOWNLOAD mp3 : Le Moulin - Yann Tiersen

DOWNLOAD mp3 : Stay Golden - Au Revoir Simone

DOWNLOAD mp3 : Moon Pulls - Mum

DOWNLOAD mp3 : Wild is the Wind - Cat Power

DOWNLOAD mp3 : Glory to the World - El Perro Del Mar

DOWNLOAD mp3 : Take it Back - She & Him